We have all heard the advice, "To feel better, live in the moment." "Just go meditate and you will feel better." "Just be more mindful." In theory this sounds very easy. But in practical terms, just suddenly practicing mindfulness, does not seem very realistic.
If you decided to run 5 miles nearly every day, would you expect to just lace up your runners and go the distance day one? Not likely. Right? And living a mindful life is similar. It isn't something that typically one does perfectly from the start. We need to build mental muscle before we can exercise mindfulness. So how to get there? Let's start with the basics.
So, what exactly is being mindful anyway? While meditation is something we can do to practice mindfulness, it is only one tool. Basically it is simply living in the moment. Paying attention to what is happening inside us and in the environment around us in any given moment. The hard part about doing this is that "noise" that interrupts the present. This clamor is from what has happened in the past that we have on our minds, and our worries about the future. So focusing on the here and now and putting thoughts of the past and future away for a while can help.
Another difficulty is that when we turn our attention to the present, we make
judgements about what we are focusing on. "That sunset is too bright. It is uncomfortably windy and cold today." etc. In order to be mindful, we should simply observe and not judge. For example, when watching the sunset we could say instead, "The sun is setting. The colors are red and orange and pink."
To be mindful in any given situation, we can ask ourselves:
What are the thoughts on my mind right now? This is different than trying to focus on the present, yet being all up in our heads about something completely different in the past or worries about the future.
What am I feeling in this moment? Check in with your emotions. Sit with them for a few moments. Name them. Ask yourself what caused the emotions you are feeling.
What sensations do I notice now in my body? Do you have any pain or tension? Can you feel your body touching the chair or floor? If you are outside barefoot, what do your feet feel like in the grass? Getting outside in nature is a great way to "ground" yourself in the present.
What do I see, hear, smell around me? Pause everything for a moment and just look around you. What do you see? Describe it to yourself as if you were blind and could not see it. Then close your eyes and smell. What scents do you pick up on? Again, describe them to yourself. Do the same with listening to your surroundings. Try to isolate each sound you hear and describe it to yourself. You can do the same with taste. Chew gum or have a hard candy and focus on how it feels, tastes, sounds, etc. Ask yourself questions about these. "I wonder where that bird is going to fly off too?" The general idea is that by tuning in to these sensations they pull you out of your stress and worries regarding the past and future and place you solidly on the ground in the present.
A very frequent concern that people have about being in the moment is that while they may be able to focus on the present, their minds often drift off to the thoughts they are trying to forget about. Thoughts about the past and future. So they will often feel they have failed at mindfulness and give up. Pema Chodron, a Buddhist and author speaks about this and teaches that this is very normal. This happens to the most practiced all the time. The trick is to just accept that the thought are there. Say something to yourself like labeling the thoughts, "Thinking." and watch them float away as quickly as they came in. Imagine that they are floating in a balloon text like in a comic strip. Isn't that reassuring? I always thought I was doing it wrong because these thoughts happened. And knowing that it is normal and having a technique to deal with them helps tremendously.
Along these same lines, and another important part of mindfulness is acceptance. For example if we try to fight these thoughts that come in we are not accepting them for what they are. When we do accept their presence they easily float away, rather than continuing to fight them. There they are. There they go. Acceptance is important in mindful living in many ways. It is hard to live in the present if we cannot accept the past or the stress of future worries for what they are and just let them be. For example, what if you were driving and had an accident. Perhaps someone got injured. You may have this on your mind for the rest of your life consciously or unconsciously. Your mind may try to fight that it happened in disbelief or ruminate on that it did happen and what if you had done this or that differently. But these thoughts do not accept the reality of the situation. It is as if your mind is fighting the reality of it. What a relief it might be to accept that it did. While this may be harder initially, in the long run, accepting this is an important step towards releasing the pain and angst about it.
While a humans ultimate goal may be to "live mindfully" always, it takes a lot of practice to get there. That does not mean that we cannot benefit from mindful moments as we grow and learn more about mindful living. So try to work them into each day here and there. Are you waiting at the printer at work? Look out the window and focus on the trees and birds. Are you stopped at a red light? Take a minute or two to do some breathing exercises. I think you get the idea. All of those little moments we wait for things every day can be opportunities to check in with our body~mind~spirit and see what is happening beneath the surface.
Here is some additional information on mindfulness that describes it further that you may find helpful.
Mindfulness is the practice of intentionally paying attention to the present moment without judgment. It involves observing your thoughts, feelings, bodily sensations, and the surrounding environment with curiosity and acceptance.
Engaging in mindfulness can be beneficial for several reasons:
Reducing stress: Mindfulness helps in managing stress by encouraging you to be in the present moment rather than worrying about the past or future. It promotes relaxation and a sense of calm.
Improving mental health: Mindfulness has shown to reduce symptoms of anxiety and depression. By being aware of your thoughts and emotions, you can develop a better understanding of your own mental state and cope with difficulties more effectively.
Enhancing focus and concentration: Regular mindfulness practice has been found to improve attention and concentration. By training your mind to focus on the present, you can become more efficient and effective in daily tasks.
Increasing self-awareness: Mindfulness allows you to become more in tune with yourself, your thoughts, and your emotions. This heightened self-awareness helps in recognizing and understanding your patterns of behavior, leading to personal growth and development.
Cultivating self-compassion: Mindfulness encourages self-acceptance and non-judgment. It helps in developing a kind and compassionate attitude towards oneself, reducing self-criticism and promoting self-care.
Enhancing relationships: By practicing being fully present and attentive, mindfulness can improve your communication and relationships with others. It fosters empathy, compassion, and better listening skills.
Overall, mindfulness offers a wide range of benefits to both mental and physical well-being, making it a valuable practice for anyone looking to improve their quality of life.
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